Feeling Needed - February 20, 2012
It is a basic human need to feel a sense of belonging and to be needed. Children turn to their families to fulfill these needs. In addition to teaching responsibility, chores and the assignment of jobs that serve the family provide a sense of worth and can create opportunities to strengthen family bonds as you work together.
Preparing family meals is one way to involve children in an important family task. Team-building skills and a wide range of academic lessons can be learned from planning, cooking, serving, and cleaning up. With some guidance, most kids are capable of participating in most meal-making activities by time they are in second or third grade.
As with all beginning cooks, things may not always go as planned. Cooking takes some time to learn, and as your child begins to learn, his or her excitement about the process will help with building new skills. Find the things that spark interest in your child and have a good time together while making your child's contributions a valuable and needed part of the family.
For great ideas for cooking with kids visit these websites:
Give and Receive Hugs - February 13, 2012
With Valentine's Day coming tomorrow, we want to remind you about one of the best gifts that you can give to anyone in your family.
Hugs are practically perfect.
No batteries, no electricity - perfectly green,
No insurance requirements,
No set up necessary,
Theft-proof,
Free,
Fat- and cholesterol-free,
Non-discriminating,
Wholesome,
Comforting,
Organic,
Naturally sweet,
All natural,
And best of all, returnable.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Circle of Parents.
Constructively Dealing with Anger - February 6, 2012
No matter how much we love our kids, we sometimes feel angry, irritated, and annoyed with them. Here are some helpful ideas to deal with these feelings constructively:
First, recognize that by immediately reacting with yelling, shouting, and other expressions of out-of-control anger to your child, you send the message that you own the problem, not him or her. By reacting in this way, you keep the focus on yourself, rather than on the child's poor decision. You may even communicate to your child that adults are mean, scary, or a spectacle to laugh at.
By communicating that you are sad or concerned for your child instead of reacting in an angry outburst, the messaging can change. This can be difficult to do, especially in the heat of the moment. A good strategy is to delay solutions until everyone has had a chance to calm down. Afterward, you might communicate your sadness for your child's poor decision in a variety of ways. A possible response could be, "I'm sad that you have made such a poor decision. I guess you'll have to accept the consequences."
Rather than placing the blame on you, your child will look toward himself or herself for the problem, developing some ownership around his or her choices. By effectively communicating sadness and concern instead of anger, your child will eventually feel sad about the consequences they have created, rather than angry at you.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Love and Logic.
Responsible Driving - January 30, 2012
On average, about 6,000 teens die behind the wheel each year. Decrease the odds of your teen becoming a statistic by trying out the following tips:
- Offer your teen “good guy” car insurance, which is based on your teen maintaining at least a B-average in school and having a perfect driving record. If your teen's grades fall or if he or she gets a ticket, allow him or her to take the initiative to figure out how the increased premium will be paid.
- Allow your child to build confidence and responsibility by buying his or her own car, or at least a major portion of it. Encourage your child to get a used car to receive better deals.
- As the parent or caregiver, you can choose who your teen has in the car with him or her. Try to meet your teen's friends before they drive together.
- Lastly, set some boundaries for driving times. If your teen tends to go to bed around 11pm, you may want to keep him or her off the road after this time.
Stocking a Diaper Bag - January 23, 2012
With the fluster of everything that comes with a brand-new baby, it's not surprising that many parents feel overwhelmed, forgetful, and under-prepared. Below are some tips to keep your diaper bag ready for anything that comes your way.
- Choose a large, versatile bag that you can bring to all occasions. If you share your bag with your significant other, you'll want to be sure to pick something that the both of you won't mind carrying around.
- Create a checklist of diaper bag necessities and tape it on the wall in a visible place. This list may include: a changing pad, wipes, multiple diapers, lotion, powder, disposable bags, bottles, breast pads, snacks, a change of clothes, bibs, and a few burp cloths.
- Consider your baby's safety when you’re out and about. Public restrooms are a great, safe place to change, as well as car seats.
- Sanitize first. Be sure to wipe away germs and cover the area with a clean cloth or changing pad.
- Bring your dirty wipes and diapers home in a plastic bag to keep the area germ-free.
- Restock, restock, restock upon your return home. Make sure the diaper bag is always ready so you can pick it up and run at a moment's notice.
Encouraging Children to be Generous - January 16, 2012
Children who are giving are often happier children. It’s never too early or too late to cultivate generous hearts in our kids. Here are some tips to get started.
- Make gratitude a major part of your family life. When your children receive a gift, teach them to pause and enjoy the moment. Have your child thank the giver in a note and verbally if they can, acknowledging their generosity and thoughtfulness.
- Help your children make a list of gifts they are going to give to others. Put a cap on the number of items they can add to birthday and holiday "wish lists." Encourage your kids to create homemade gifts as well as giving gifts of their talents (i.e. helping their grandparents with gardening, creating a book to read with their sibling, or painting a canvas for the home).
- Remind your children that people are in need every day and they have the opportunity to help. Help your children act generously and keep their rooms clean at the same time by asking them to give a clothing article or toy away when they are given a new one.
- Involve your children in volunteer activities. Look for opportunities to engage in community service as a family, including soup kitchens, clothing banks, or your place of worship. Afterwards, take time to discuss with your children what they learned from the experience. Ask them for their ideas about how they can help others in need.
Social Media Safety - January 9, 2012
Social media websites like Facebook, Twitter, Club Penguin, and others can be a great experience for kids: they offer fun ways for them to play with their friends, learn new things, and express themselves in a variety of ways. The problems come, however, when children inadvertently give away more information than they realize. By adding their physical location, their safety may become compromised. Also, their posts to these websites are not private, allowing markets to target your children.
Depending on your views, children can definitely benefit from some guidance around the use of social media. Here are some ways to help your children navigate their digital worlds.
For Parents of Elementary-Aged Children:
- Ensure that your children use age-appropriate websites with strong safety features. You may want to look for websites that filter inappropriate content.
For Parents of Middle School-Aged Children:
- Facebook does not provide a profile if kids are under 13. That said, kids often exaggerate their ages to create an account.
- Tell your kids to think before they post. Remind them that everything can be seen by an audience. Depending on your comfort level, you may want to have access to your child’s profile to guide them with making appropriate posts.
- Make sure kids set their privacy settings. Privacy settings aren't 100%, but they're vital to your child’s safety. Be sure to learn how privacy settings work on your kids' favorite sites and teach your kids how to control their privacy.
- Go online. Create an account for yourself on your child’s favorite website to see how it works.
- Talk about the nature of their virtual world. Remind your children that anyone can see what's on their pages – even if they think no one can. Potential employers and college admissions staff often view social networking sites.
- Let them know that anything they post can be altered, pasted, and sent around. Once they add something to their pages, it's out of their control and can be taken out of context and used to hurt them or someone else. Unfortunately, things online can last forever.
- Don't post location. Social networks allow kids to post their location – however, this can compromise your teen’s safety.
- Watch the clock. Social networking sites can be real distraction from other things.
Keeping Kids (and Adults) Healthy Through Flu Season - January 2, 2012
Winter can be a real bummer when the constant threat of colds, flues, and other dreaded illnesses are looming in the air. Sometimes it seems like kids just carry these bugs home, picking them up from other children. While we cannot make these pesky illnesses go away entirely, here are a few tips to help your family stay healthy throughout the winter.
- Stay Warm It seems obvious, but make sure your family is dressed for cool weather. If you are playing in the snow, skiing, or snowboarding this tip is especially pertinent – don't forget your hats, earmuffs, gloves, thick socks, scarves, and proper shoes.
- Eat Right Around this time of year, it's especially important to eat meals that are high in vitamins and minerals. Well-balanced meals will help your children's bodies stay in good shape to fight off illnesses.
- Keep Food Safe Anyone handling food should be sure to wash their hands often. Keep any raw meat, poultry, and eggs away from food that is already prepared. Also be sure to keep cutting boards, knives, and other cookware that has touched raw meat away from prepared foods.
- Wash Your Hands Your children need to wash their hands well (for 30 seconds) and often. You may also consider giving your children hand sanitizers to use at school.
- Sleep Sleep is one of the most important things we can do to recharge our bodies and prevent illness. Younger children need more sleep than adults – up to 10-13 hours a night.
- Quarantine If your children do get sick, they should not return to school until they have gotten rid of fevers and/or vomiting. Wipe all surfaces with disinfectant throughout the day and be sure their bedding and clothes are washed in hot, soapy water.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Planning Family.
Getting the Kids to Bed - December 26, 2011
As your school-age children get ready to head back to school next week, you might be concerned about getting your children back on a regular sleeping schedule. Some parents, however, don't worry about getting their children to sleep by a certain time. Instead, they make sure that their children are in their bedrooms by a specific time. Because we cannot force our children to sleep (they need to fall asleep on their own), here are some tips to guide your children:
- Set up rituals before bedtime. These may include eating dinner, reading a story, taking a shower, and brushing their teeth in a certain order. When kids have this predictability, it helps to keep them calm. They may even wish to create a schedule of their nightly routine to hang on their wall.
- Try to get your child in their bedroom at the same time each night, even on weekends. When you stick to the same time each night, your child will begin to expect bedtime as a regular event.
- When reading your child stories before bed, try to choose relaxing themes that are not too scary.
- Create a saying that you use each night to indicate that you're turning off the lights. This might include, "I love you," "Pleasant dreams," or another phrase.
- Work with your child to develop a plan for when you leave the room. This might be turning to her side, hugging her teddy bear, or taking three deep breaths.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Love and Logic Institute.
Top 10 Holiday Recipes - December 19, 2011
It's that time of year: the kids are on break from school and the fireplace has already been in use. Keep the mood cozy as you get ready for the holidays this week with the top 10 kid-friendly recipes to celebrate the winter holidays.
4. Julia Child's Buttered Peas with Mint
7. Maple Roast Turkey and Gravy
8. Mulled Cider
10. Hot Buttered Rum Cheesecakes
Happy holidays to you and your family!
Little Ones and their Gadgets - December 12, 2011
By the time many children are old enough to walk, they have already had experience with a variety of electronic devices: computers, e-books, DVD players, and phones. While these electronic gadgets can be a great way to introduce children to technology, they also can limit your child's ability to imaginatively play. Below are some ideas to supplement your child's learning while having fun as a family.
Active Listening
Parents today often complain that their children do not listen to them. With so many fascinating things to pay attention to, including computers, iPods, televisions, and e-books, can we blame them? Boost your child's listening abilities by listening to an e-book or to the radio together. When it's over, have a conversation about what you listened to.
Reading Together
While e-books can be a great help with teaching children to learn to read by themselves, there is something very special about reading with your child. Not only are you creating memories that will last a lifetime, but when you read to your child, you're adding your own facial expressions, sounds, and spontaneity that an e-book simply cannot capture.
Writing by Hand
With so much writing being done on computers today, encourage your child to write stories, letters, and notes by hand. Writing with a pencil, pen, marker, or crayon requires necessary motor skills and thinking that are different from those demanded by a computer. Writing by hand also requires a level of patience that can be difficult to teach in today's world.
Creatively Playing
In addition to getting necessary exercise through play, children learn valuable skills from creative play that are more difficult to come by through video games. Learning to plant a garden, play hide and seek, or build a fort teach children patience, self-control, social skills, and interests that will last a lifetime.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Parenting.org.
Homework Help - December 5, 2011
There is nothing wrong with wanting your child to succeed in school. Many parents feel that it is their responsibility to make this happen, and they take it upon themselves to make sure their child finishes all of her homework. This belief, however, sometimes turns into a difficult dynamic in which your child feels that she is being overpowered. In response, she will sometimes try to exert control over the situation, leading to a dislike for homework altogether.
There is good news, though! This difficult situation can often be avoided altogether. Go easier on yourself and your child by trying out the following ideas.
- Wait for your child to approach you for homework help instead of assuming she will need it.
- When you help your child with homework, make sure that she is doing the majority of the work. Walk her through a similar example and let her come up with the answer.
- Only sit next to your child part of the time she does her homework so that she can become confident doing it by herself, too.
- Help your child as long as the process is enjoyable for the both of you. Walk away when things get tense so that feelings of anger do not become associated with homework.
- Model a positive perspective on learning. Ask your child to tell you about her homework and what she likes and dislikes about it.
Family Meals - November 28, 2011
Regardless of your family's schedule, style, or configuration, family dinners are bound to happen – sometimes every night, and sometimes only around the holidays. Meal times can be the most important time for many parents to connect with their children, reinforce the bonds of love and friendship, and create a relationship that will help their child through the tough adolescent years. A recent study even showed that sit-down family dinners can considerably prevent teen drug use. Here are some ideas to make your family meals a time that everyone looks forward to.
1. Make dinner conversation something everyone looks forward to. Make dinner that special time during the day when everyone shares their thoughts and ideas and connects for even a short time. Sharing ideas, telling stories, and hearing about one another’s days bring families together and can help you better relate to and sometimes learn about the challenges your children are facing. Some families use mealtime as a 'lecture-free zone' where corrections or discipline about issues that arise are put on hold. Some families use meal times as 'family meeting' times to address larger issues. Whatever your style, the bonds that can grow over a shared meal can create memories that last a lifetime and bonds that help families weather the strongest storms.
2. Deal effectively with picky eaters. Rather than make separate meals for each child, offer choices for how the one meal you make may be served. Example: “Would you like your pasta with sauce or butter on top?”
3. Make sure your child has an afternoon snack. Kids often get hungry after school or in the mid-afternoon. Keep attitudes at bay by offering a healthy snack to your child, especially if you will be serving a late dinner.
4. Teach good manners at home. You can safely assume that your children will display table manners in public that are taught or encouraged at home. If you want your children to follow certain protocols when you are out, be sure to teach and expect them at home first. This may include things like chewing with her mouth closed, using flatware instead of fingers, and pushing in her chair when she finishes.
5. Get everyone involved in mealtime. Getting everyone involved in mealtime, no matter how small each task, can work wonders with family bonding. Cooking and meal-planning can teach several life skills, including:
- Planning a menu
- Creating a shopping list and hunting for the best bargains
- Choosing healthy options
- Learning to prepare and cook different kinds of foods
- Finding something that even the pickiest eaters will enjoy
By encouraging your child to help with the preparation of a meal, you will not only teach her valuable life skills, but you may find that she will enjoy eating the meal more.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Circle of Parents.
10 Must-Try Thanksgiving Treats - November 21, 2011
Thanksgiving is finally here! Gather your family and try some of these fun, kid-friendly Thanksgiving treats.
3. Thanksgiving Dressing with Apricots and Prunes
4. Spiced Apple Cider
5. Marshmallow Pilgrim Hats
6. Pumpkin Dip
7. Potato and Celery Root Gratin with Leeks
8. Grilled Zucchini, Squash and Pomegranate Salad
9. Pumpkin Pie-sicles
10. Applesauce Muffins
Happy Thanksgiving!
Getting Involved at Your Child's School - November 14, 2011
It's never too late to get involved in your child's school. No matter what age your child is, there are plenty of ways to help out your child's school while offering your unique abilities and talents. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
1. Volunteer in your child's classroom - grading papers, assisting students, etc.
2. Tutor students in an area of expertise.
3. Chaperone field trips or offer to transport children.
4. Chaperone dances, proms, or socials.
5. Help with the planning and organization of in-school events (i.e. dances, proms, assemblies).
6. Join your child's school's PTA.
7. Judge performances at the talent show. 8. Bake goodies for a bake sale.
9. Volunteer as a lunchroom or hall monitor.
10. Volunteer as a school crossing guard.
11. Volunteer in the school library and offer to read to the younger children.
12. Offer to coach a school sports team.
13. Lead an after-school club or start your own - the possibilities are endless.
14. Assist with grant writing, letter-writing, or other administrative tasks.
15. Volunteer to help plan the school auction, walkathon, or other fundraisers.
16. Work with children who have special needs.
17. Offer to speak in your child's classroom about your career. 18. Judge exhibits at the science fair.
19. Become your child's classroom art docent.
20. Help start a school fitness program or healthy eating program.
21. Do you play an instrument? Offer to help out in your child's music class.
22. Create costumes or paint faces for school plays.
23. Create a school conservation project.
24. Start a workshop for woodworking, computers, or other area of expertise.
25. Offer to help the school nurse with minor injuries.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by KidsHealth.
Avoiding Talking Back - November 7, 2011
As Mom walked out of the teacher's room after a long discussion about Aiden’s failure to do his homework, she told Aiden to put on his coat.
"Why should I? I’m not cold," he snapped.
"I mean it, Aiden. You need to listen!"
"Fine, but you're stupid!"
"Don’t you talk to me like that, young man. You need to show respect!"
Turning to the teacher, Mom asked, "What do I do?"
An observer would probably think that homework is the least of this family's problems.
Aiden 's teacher connected with Mom and told her about having some of the same problems in the past with her own son. She told Mom how she started dealing with taking back by refusing to react to him. Each time her son said something rude she simply said, "Bad choice. I'll have to do something about that after I cool down." That was her mantra.
After cooling down she waited for him to ask for something. When he did, she delivered her other mantra, "I'm happy to help you when I feel respected," and he didn't get what he wanted. He hated that she always said the same thing.
The teacher said that for awhile, those were the only changes she made with her parenting. But soon after she made this change, her relationship with her son drastically improved.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Love and Logic Institute.
Top 10 Halloween Safety Tips - October 31, 2011
Halloween is a fun time for children and adults alike. But with all of the celebrations, parents can get caught up in the fun themselves and forget simple safety tricks to protect their little goblins. Here are the top 10 tips for keeping Halloween fun and safe for parents and kids.
- Check your local police department website for sex offenders. Make sure that your kids stay away from these houses!
- Know the route your kids will be taking if you aren't going with them. Ask them to check in with you every 30 minutes by calling or stopping back at home.
- Trick or treating isn't what it used to be. In most cities it's not safe to let kids walk the streets by themselves. If you can't take them yourself, see if another parent can.
- Help your child pick out or make a costume that will be safe. Make sure that it’s fire proof. If they are wearing a mask, be sure that the eye holes are large enough for good peripheral vision.
- If your child is carrying a prop, such as a butcher knife or a pitchfork, make sure that the tips are smooth and flexible enough to not cause injury if fallen on.
- Know what activities your child may be attending, such as parties, school or mall functions. If they are going to be at a friend’s home, make sure that you've met the parents.
- Set a time that your kids should be home by. Ensure they know how important it is for them to be home on time or to call immediately if they are going to be late.
- Serve your kids a filling meal before trick or treating and they won't be as tempted to eat any candy before they bring it home for you to check.
- Teach your kids about not getting into strangers’ cars or talking to strangers, no matter what the person says to them. Explain to them as simply as you can that they should never go into a house that they don't know or get into a car or go anywhere with a stranger. Also, teach them how to respond if this does happen.
- Be sure to show your children how to cross a street properly. They should always look both ways and should only cross at corners or crosswalks. Make sure that if you have more than one child, they know to take the hand of the younger child when they cross a street.
10 Family Favorite Activities this Fall - October24, 2011
Check out the tips from one of our favorite food blogs - Cookus Interruptus And learn great ways to feed your littlest family member.
10 Family Favorite Activities this Fall - October 10, 2011
The air is starting to feel crisp, the leaves are beginning to fall from the trees, and parents and children are getting ready for Halloween costume planning and the holidays. Throughout all of the hustle and bustle, be sure not to miss these 10 favorite activities with your family this fall.
1. Take a nature walk. Head to a trail near you and discover the natural wonders of autumn: pinecones, acorns, and multicolored leaves. Take home your favorite leaves and press them inside a heavy book to cherish the memories.
2. Visit your local pumpkin patch. 'Tis the season for pumpkins. Pick your pumpkins from your local pumpkin patch and choose fun patterns to carve or decorate them with brightly-colored paint. Be sure to save the seeds for later to make a delicious roasted snack.
3. Bake fall goodies. Besides the roasted pumpkin seeds, there are plenty of tasty treats to make with kids of all ages. From homemade caramel apples to pumpkin bread to chocolate-dipped figs, there are many delicious goodies in season now.
4. Design an autumn wreath. Hot glue leaves, dried flowers, pinecones, and small gourds to a grapevine wreath. Embellish with decorative ribbons, buttons, and artificial birds to create a lasting touch.
5. Drink warm apple cider. Create (or use) a family recipe with your favorite spices for a tasty after-dinner treat. Choose from cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, allspice, ginger, black pepper, and beyond.
6. Plant bulbs for the spring. Watch your garden bloom early next spring by planting bulbs now. Choose your favorite assortment among tulips, daffodils, hyacinths, and crocuses.
7. Embark on a corn maze. Visit a corn maze near you (there are plenty of them out there) and get in a dose of cardio. Take the little ones with you and race against the older kids throughout the maze as you search for your way out.
8. Head to the backyard for a game of tackle-free football. Football isn't just a sport to watch. Engage in a friendly family game in your own backyard as you practice good sportsmanship, teamwork, agility, and coordination with your family members.
9. Create an animal sanctuary. Attract the gorgeous local birds to your yard by making a treat they're sure to enjoy. Get creative with yarn, birdseed, peanut butter, nuts, and corn. Hang up your masterpiece in a tree and watch as the birds gather.
10. Get out of town. Take a drive throughout the country and marvel at the beautiful change in scenery. View brightly-colored leaves, different kinds of trees, and amazing wildlife.
10 Tips for School Success - October 3, 2011
We all want our children to grow up to be healthy, productive, and successful adults. As we all realize, though, we must begin to nurture our children's strengths and intelligence early, helping them to succeed in school. Here are 10 tips for parents to foster their children's learning.
1. Be vocal with your child. Beginning in infancy, children should be spoken to regularly. Stimulate their minds by singing to them or turning on a CD. The more words and sounds that children recognize from home, the better equipped they are to learn even more.
2. If your children watch television or play computer games, ensure that they are learning skills such as reading, mathematics, and more by streaming educational programs. Infants and toddlers have a natural ability to quickly absorb new material.
3. Give children home examples. There are multitudes of ways to teach children practical information in exciting ways. Teach them fractions by having them assist with cooking a meal and measuring ingredients. Teach children to add and subtract as you put away groceries. Help your children learn to spell using their favorite books.
4. Dig deeper with simple games. Children's games often teach simple concepts, such as ordering rings on a prong from largest to smallest. Ask children to arrange blocks by color, shape, alternating sizes, or any other combination you both can think of. Further challenge children by asking them to verbalize their actions.
5. Let children help with shopping. Rather than allowing your kids to run down the aisles, ask them to assist at the grocery store by weighing fruits and vegetables, counting cans, and comparing prices and unit prices. This assistance will help children better understand practical word problems at school.
6. Plant a garden. Many schools now have gardens for young students. Give your child a head start by helping them plant their favorite flower, fruit, vegetable, and/or plant. Explain to them how to nurture a garden, including the need to be patient.
7. Give children a quiet study area. Encourage good study habits by ensuring children have a consistent, quiet place to work on homework. Be sure that they understand concepts presented in class by checking over their homework and assisting where needed.
8. Keep a regular schedule. As much as possible, try to make sure that children sit down at the same time each day to complete school work. This should ideally be done before children go outside to play or turn on the television.
9. Be sure children understand how to use textbooks. It may not always occur to children to use indices, glossaries, and other helpful sections of textbooks. You should also show them how to look up words in the dictionary if they do not understand their meanings.
10. Provide incentives. While children should not be rewarded for doing their school work (after all, this is expected of them), celebrate as a family for a job well done. This may range from going out to dinner, allowing the child to pick her favorite food for dinner, or any other motivating idea.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Helium.
How to Talk to Children about the News - September 26, 2011
The news we hear and watch in the newspapers, television, radio, and Internet is often educational and interesting for adults as well as children. But what happens when images and stories of violence begin to scare kids?
It's natural for kids to worry that something similar is going to happen to them that they see or hear in the news. News stories can also scare them away from aspects of their daily lives — like playing outside — when they never felt fearful before. Reports on child abductions, homicides, and natural disasters also can teach kids to view the world as a confusing, threatening place. How Children Interpret the News
How Children Interpret the News
Unlike movies or other forms of entertainment, the news is real. But depending on their age or maturity level, kids might not understand the distinctions between real and imaginary worlds.
By the time kids reach 7 or 8, however, what they see on TV can seem all too real. A child watching a news story about a bombing on a bus might worry, "Could that happen to me?" TV has the effect of bringing the reality of the world into our own homes . By concentrating on violent stories, TV news can give kids an inaccurate view of what the world is actually like.
Talking About the News
To calm children's fears about the news, parents should be prepared to deliver the truth. The key is to be honest and help kids feel safe. Do not go into more details than your child is interested in. Although it's true that some things can't be prevented, parents should enable kids to share their fears. Encourage them to talk about what scares them.
Older kids are less likely to accept an explanation at face value. If older kids are bothered by a story, help them cope with these fears by listening to them openly.
Teens also can be encouraged to consider why a frightening or disturbing story was on the air: Was it to increase the program's ratings because of its sensational value or because it was truly newsworthy? In this way, a scary story can be turned into a worthwhile discussion about the role of the news in today's culture.
Tips for Parents
- Recognize that news doesn't have to be disturbing. Public TV, newspapers, and kids news magazines are usually less sensational.
- Discuss current events with your child. It's important to help kids think through stories they hear about. Ask questions: ''What do you think about these events?''
- Put news stories in context. Demonstrate that certain events are isolated and cannot happen to them.
- Watch the news with your kids to filter inappropriate stories.
- Plan when guidance will be necessary and avoid shows that are not appropriate for your child.
- Talk about what you can do to help. Use the story of a natural disaster as a chance to talk about philanthropy, cooperation, and the ability of people to cope with overwhelming hardship.
Is Your Teen Ready to Stay Home Alone? - September 19, 2011
Take one teenager, add one empty home and what do you have? A recipe for disaster, say some child development experts. But lots of parents are able to trust their kids to behave without supervision. After all, in just a few years your teen may be living in a college dorm or starting a career - all without your protection. So how do you know if your child is mature enough to stay home alone? Start by asking yourself the following questions:
- Is your teen nervous or afraid of staying home alone?
- How safe is your neighborhood?
- Is your child sensible, responsible and trustworthy?
- Does your teen tend to make good decisions, follow directions, and take responsibility for daily tasks like homework and chores?
- Does your child know how to use the stove and other appliances?
- Does your teenager understand the dangers of opening the door for strangers or telling someone that their parents are away?
- Is your teen comfortable contacting you if there is a problem or if they made a mistake?
- Do you have friends, family members or neighbors you can count on if your child needs help?
Keep in mind that some states have a minimum age for leaving children unsupervised, so call your local Department of Social Services before making a final decision.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by By Parents For Parents.
Becoming a Stepparent - September 12, 2011
Becoming a parent by blending families can be a rewarding experience. If you've never had kids, you'll get to share your life with a younger person and act as their role model. If you have kids, you'll offer them more opportunities to establish a special sibling bond. While there is no foolproof formula, it's important to approach this new situation with patience. Here's how to make things easier.
- Start Slow: The initial role of a stepparent is similar to a mentor. You may hope for a closer bond, and might wonder what you're doing wrong if your stepchild doesn't warm up to you right away, but remember that relationships need time to grow.
- Understand the Pain: Children who are mourning the loss of a parent or the separation of their parents may need time to heal before they can accept you. For those whose birth parents are still alive, remarriage may mean the end of hope that their parents will get back together
- Steps to Great Stepparenting: All parents face difficulties now and then. But when you're a stepparent, those obstacles are added to by the fact that you are not the birth parent. Remember the following steps, especially at the beginning:
- Don't buy love. Kids need genuine love and affection. Giving them gifts or treats, especially if they're not earned, can lead to a dilemma where you feel like you're trading gifts for love.
- Stay consistent. Keep your rules as consistent as possible for all kids, whether they're your kids from a previous relationship, your partner's kids, or new children you have had together.
- Create new family traditions. Find special activities to do with your stepkids that you all enjoy.
- Respect all parents. When a partner's ex is deceased, it's important to honor that person. If you and your partner share custody with the birth parent, try to be courteous and compassionate in your interactions with each other (no matter how hard that can be!).
- Don't use kids as messengers. Try not to question kids about what's happening in their other home— they'll resent it.
- Talk to your partner. Communication between you and your partner is important so that you can make decisions together. This is especially vital if you each have different notions on parenting.
No matter what the circumstances of your new family, chances are there'll be some bumps along the way. But don't give up trying to make things work — even if things started off a little rocky, they still can improve as you and your new family members get to know each other.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by KidsHealth.
Getting Back Into the Morning Groove - September 5, 2011
Getting your children back into the morning routine after a long summer can be an excruciating process by itself. Pair this with transportation to and from school, shuttling them to soccer practice and violin lessons, and you've got a lot on your plate! Listed below are some tips for taking the mayhem out of the morning:
- Have “practice mornings” when you’re not rushing. Try it on the weekend.
- Make a guide for your kids by taking pictures of them doing all the tasks they need to do in the morning and posting them in a common area. For older kids, ask them to make morning checklists for themselves.
- Set limits with enforceable statements, including: "Breakfast will be on the table until the alarm rings." "My car is leaving in just five minutes. Will you be going with your clothes on your body or your clothes in a bag?" "Are you planning on bringing your lunch with you today?"
- Allow them to brainstorm ideas of how they can be more efficient in the mornings. If they're having trouble coming up with ideas, feel free to ask them questions, such as: "Do you think it might be easier to choose your clothes the night before instead of in the morning?" "What do you think about making sure your backpack is ready to go before going to bed?"
When to be Concerned About Your Child's Weight - August 29, 2011
There's probably as much concern today about childhood eating disorders as there is about childhood obesity. The mixed messages are confusing: When should you worry about your child's weight? How much should she eat? What should she do for exercise? Very young children may look chubby, but most of them will grow into their weight. Compare your child's height percentage with her weight percentage. If your child is in the 90th percentile for both, she's fine. The other thing to consider with young children is their level of activity. If your child is a little chunky but also very active, you needn't worry. If your child is fairly inactive, though, you should try to find creative ways to get her moving. Play tag, take a walk to the park, or throw around a Frisbee. If your child is 10-11 or older, excess weight is more of an issue.* When It's Time to Be Concerned The following are causes for concern in pre-teens and teenagers:
- Sedentary lifestyle: If your child prefers TV and the computer to spending time outside, some changes are in order. Consider limiting screen time (including computers, television and cell phones). Start a family tradition of taking walks after dinner.
- Unhealthy eating habits: If your child's favorite snacks are chips and candy, buy less junk food (or none at all), and fill the house with healthy snacks such as fruit and vegetables.
- Large weight gain: A child who has been gaining weight over several months needs help making lifestyle changes. They won't like them at first. You can make it easier by getting the whole family to make changes. If everyone is trying to be healthy, you can support each other and your child won't feel singled out.
If your child is struggling with obesity, lifestyle changes at home may not suffice. It may be necessary to consult your pediatrician or family doctor. Ultimately, determination about your children's weight should not only be based on weight, but on their activity level and eating habits. Your goal should be less about weight and more about a healthy lifestyle. *A word of caution for parents of daughters: Our media surround us with images of women who are super-thin and have no curves. Few women naturally look that way. As your daughter enters puberty, she will start to develop. She may start to get curvy, but curves aren't the same as being fat. Don't let our culture's obsession with the ultra-thin distort your ideas about how she should look.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by By Parent For Parents.
Tactics to Combat Cyberbullying - August 22, 2011
Bullying is a problem that children have suffered from for generations. However, with children being more and more independent with technology and with all of the ways to instantly connect - cell phones, e-mail, chat rooms, social media websites, and Xbox - cyberbullying makes bullying constantly tormenting for many kids. Cyberbullied kids feel like they're getting harassed nonstop.
Because kids are hesitant to tell anyone about cyberbullying, including their parents, it's difficult to know how many children are affected. However, estimates are that one third of children suffer from cyberbullying, putting them at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and suicide as the bullying becomes worse. It's natural to want to help when your child is bullied. So what can be done about the bullies who strike from behind a computer screen?
Warning signs of cyberbullying include:
- Distress during or after using the Internet
- Withdrawal from friends and/or family members
- Avoidance of school or group gatherings
- Slipping grades and acting out at home
- Changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite
- Wanting to stop using the computer or cell phone
- Appearing nervous or upset when receiving an instant message or e-mail message
- Avoiding discussions about the computer or cell phone
Why don't kids tell their parents about cyberbullying? Despite the torment, they still want to be connected to their friends and are afraid they'll lose their online privileges if you find out they are being harassed. So it's important to reassure your child that he or she won't lose access, though their online and phone activity should be monitored. If possible, block the bullies from your child's online groups and cell phone.
Encourage your child not to respond to the meanness, because doing so makes the situation worse. But keep the threatening messages, pictures, and texts, as these can be used as evidence with the bully's parents, school, employer, or even the police. You may also consider involving officials at your child's school, especially if the bully also goes there.
If your child is doing the bullying, explain that teasing might seem fun, but can hurt feelings and lead to major consequences. If it continues, put filtering software on the computer, impose restrictions on computer and cell phone use, and consider having your child talk with a professional.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by KidsHealth.
Using Enforceable Statements - August 15, 2011
Many children have the clever ability to pull us into directions where we lose our ability to control the situation. But this does not have to be the case. By using enforceable statements, we can avoid this situation by telling our children what WE will allow rather than telling THEM what they should do. When we set limits by saying what WE do or what WE allow, we:
- Avoid looking like we cannot get our kids to do what we say.
- Share control with our children, which paradoxically makes them resist less to gain control.
- Avoid getting into a situation where our control is lost.
- I will take you to your friend's house when I don't have to worry about fighting in the back seat.
- I will give you privileges when I feel respected.
- Breakfast is served at 7:30am. This is your chance to eat before lunchtime so make sure you get what you need to hold you over.
- I will be happy to listen to you once I am done talking with your father.
- I would be happy to buy clothes for you that I feel are appropriate for your age.
- I will provide TV and the computer when your chores have been completed.
- I will lend the car to you once you've made a deposit equal to our insurance payment.
- I will listen to you when you speak in a calm voice.
- We're leaving for our trip at 8am tomorrow morning. Make sure that you have packed the clothes you want to bring by then because we're not going to leave late.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by The Love and Logic Institute.
Stress-Relieving Tricks for Mom and Dad - August 8, 2011
Between the kids, your job (including stay-at-home parents), feeding everyone, supporting your partner, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, and driving your kids to more activities than a team of Olympic hopefuls, you've got a lot on your plate! Stress is normal when parenting, but you don't have to let it take over your life. Here are some simple stress-busting tricks.
1. Breathe: Deep breaths are the easiest and most effective stress relievers. Spend as much time inhaling as exhaling, and focus only on the oxygen entering your body.
2. Laugh Out Loud: Laughing lowers the stress hormone cortisol and increases beta endorphins, the mood enhancers that combat depression. So when you begin to feel stressed, call a friend for a quick laughing fix.
3.Work Out: Though it takes some motivation to get started, even a quick exercise will release endorphins, making you feel less stressed for the rest of the day.
4.Cry: Crying is not only for your toddler. Some studies show that allowing yourself to cry flushes out stress hormones, making you feel emotionally renewed and refreshed.
5.Visualize: Visualizing peaceful situations actually helps you deal with stressful situations. So go ahead and imagine sandy beaches, palm trees, and an ice-cold Mai Tai.
6. Find Quiet Space: Find the quietest place you can, even if it's your car in the garage. Lock yourself inside for two minutes and allow the quietness to calm you.
7.Walk Away: Sometimes the best way to deal with a hysterical child is to walk away. Make sure that there is not anything that could cause harm near your child, then go to another room. This allows you space to calm down and it communicates to your child that you will not accept hysterical behavior.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Parents Connect.
Guiding Children to Choose Healthy Snacks - August 1, 2011
Summer is here, and snacks for your children are readily available at home, friends' homes, and most areas they play, including neighborhood streets, zoos, and parks. Do your children choose ice cream and chips over fruit and veggies? How do you guide your children to choose healthy snacks when they are given the choice?
1.Lead by Example: As a parent or caregiver, your children look up to you. Set the example of healthy eating by munching on healthy snacks and meals together
2. Make it Interactive: Make preparing healthy food a fun process that children engage with. From chopping vegetables to peeling garlic and onions to crushing tomatoes for homemade spaghetti sauce, there's a task for everyone!
3. Create Healthy Options: Give your children a choice of two healthy options. For example, ask your child, "Would you like celery sticks or berries for snack today?"
4. Create a Dialogue: If your children still refuse to eat healthy snacks, ask them questions about what they can do to stay healthy and let them come up with their own answers. For instance, ask the question, "What are some things we can do to keep our bodies in good shape so we live to be old?"
5. Neutralize Arguing: Kids are not going to appreciate (at least not right away) the limits you are setting on their food. Be prepared with a handy one-liner to neutralize arguing, such as "I love you too much to argue about this with you."
- Thank you to the Love and Logic Institute for inspiring today's Parent eTIP.
Teaching Your Children About Strangers - July 18, 2011
Teaching your kids about the dangers of the world can be very scary and uncomfortable. Keeping your child’s age and maturity level in mind, the single most important thing to remember is that safety lessons require ongoing, open communication that instills confidence rather than fear. Here are a few tips to help you teach safety to your children.
Lesson #1: Defining Strangers
Children need to understand who “strangers” are. Not all new or unknown people are dangerous. They need to understand the difference between good and bad strangers. Kids need to now who they can turn to if they are lost, scared, threatened, or if they think someone may be following them. “Good” strangers may include: police officers, teachers, store clerks, security guards, etc. In many situations where your child may be approached by a “bad” stranger” there may not be easily identifiable “good” strangers around. Teaching them how to respond in dangerous situations – getting the attention of other adults, making lots of noise to attract attention, run to the nearest home.
Lesson #2: Teaching Safety Measures
The following basic lessons will help your child stay safe:
- All children should know their name, address, and phone number.
- Avoid walking alone – find a buddy.
- Teach your kids to trust their instincts. If they feel they are being followed or something is not right – they should feel comfortable seeking help immediately.
- Kids should feel comfortable walking away from adults they do not know. No child should feel compelled to speak to a stranger that approaches them. They should know that they must never approach a stranger in a motor vehicle, walk off with a stranger – no matter what they say - or take candy or other gifts.
- Kids should try to remember the license plates of a vehicle that they believe is following them and tell a trusted adult.
- Kids should be taught what to do if a stranger grabs them: kick, bite, scream, drop to the ground – do whatever it takes to attract the attention of those who can help them. If they are being dragged away – they should know to scream “this is not my dad” or “this is not my mom”
Lesson #3: Practicing Safety
The goal is to teach safety and instill confidence – not fear. So, it is as important to provide your children with the information they need to be safe and an opportunity role-play. Prepare your child to protect themselves in dangerous situations while instilling confidence about the world.
7 Backyard Activities for You and Your Kids - July 11, 2011
The long, hot days of summer have finally arrived so it’s time to turn off the TV and head outside to play. Keep the kids entertained with these seven fun outdoor games and activities. We promise you won’t hear the words, “Mommy, I’m bored,” all summer long!
1. Send them on a scavenger hunt. Your child can do this activity alone, with a friend or in teams, says Lisa Hall, director of the Eastern Start School Age Program in Oriskany, N.Y. Give your child a list of items to find in nature, such as a rock, dandelion, leaf, or something a bird would eat. Have the kids draw pictures of what they find and finish the hunt by tallying up how many things they crossed off the list.
2. Chalk it up to fun. An inexpensive box of colored chalk can keep the kids busy for hours. Have younger kids draw pictures on the sidewalk or driveway. For the older children, try a game of Tic Tac Toe or hopscotch: draw a hopscotch pattern with eight squares. Players toss a marker (try a stone or button) into a square and then hop over it on one foot.
3. Bet on bug races. See how many critters the kids can spot—without actually picking them up--in the backyard for a short time period, such as five minutes, says Penny Warner, author of Kids Outdoor Parties (Meadowbrook Press). “Add up how many bugs they see and give them a sketch pad to sketch as many as they can. Then have them share their artwork.”
4. Knock ’em over with backyard bowling. Find household items that will tumble over easily, such as empty cereal boxes, empty soda cans, and small stuffed toys and align them in a row like bowling pins, suggests Warner. Then, using a smaller ball for older kids and a bigger ball for the young ones, have the children roll the ball. They score a point for each object they knock down.
5. Play Kick the Can. A variation on Hide and Seek, this game works best with at least three kids. One person is designated “it” and will guard the “can” (an empty coffee can or ball) which is set in an open space. While the other players hide, the “it” counts to 20 (or higher) and then tries to find and tag the other players. If captured, players must go to “jail”. Any player who hasn’t been caught can run in and kick the can, setting all of the captured players free. If the “it” finds everyone, he wins the game.
6. Create an outdoor canvas. Hang an old sheet on a clothesline or tape paper to a fence for your budding artist to paint on. Encourage them to try painting with different kinds of brushes, says Warner. “Try dipping grass into paint and swishing it on paper, then try painting with a leaf or a twig. The kids can also try painting rocks and creating little people or bugs with them.”
7. Host a mini-Olympics. Get the kids competing in running and wheelbarrow races, obstacle courses, water balloon tosses and jumping competitions, suggests Hall. Finish off the fun with a mini-Olympic awards ceremony to honour all of the athletes. Buy medals at the local dollar store or make your own with construction paper, colored pencils and string.
- This Parent eTIP was written by Rhea Seymour at Kaboose
Drink Up - July 5, 2011
Summertime. A time for kids to run and play. As your young ones find fun ways to keep their minds and bodies active, don't forget that dehydration can easily occur in active kids. During exercise, depending on their size and weight, kids are encouraged to drink between four and ten ounces of fluid (two gulps = one ounce) every 15 to 20 minutes. For junior jocks exercising more than 45 minutes, a sports drink (not an energy drink) with six to eight percent carbohydrates and electrolytes will help maintain balanced energy levels.
Internet Safety for Your Kids - June 27, 2011
According to a survey from The Love and Logic Institute, one in five American adults are more concerned with the Internet's negative impact on children than television, friends, movies, or even popular music.
There are very real risks out there, when our kids sit down at a computer to gather information about chemistry, politics, and the arts, it doesn't take too much time or effort for them also to access sites that parents find harmful or dangerous.
The following simple-yet powerful-steps can protect your children from inappropriate and potentially dangerous Internet content, while also allowing them to experience the benefits of this powerful tool. Like any other powerful tool, the Internet takes training and guidance to use it well and to use it without getting hurt.
Tip #1: Don't rely on electronic safeguards. Will your child's first car, his first girlfriend, or her first year of college be equipped with a device designed to limit harmful information or activity? Electronic safeguards are no substitute for good parental role modeling, supervision, and guidance. This approach also teaches children to learn how to make wise choices by giving them plenty of practice as they encounter tough choices on the Web and in the real world.
Tip #2: Keep the computer out of your child's room. Despite children's protests, parents have a right, and a responsibility, to have the computer someplace where they can stay in touch with how it's used.
Tip #3: Have honest discussions and set positive expectations. One of the most powerful things a parent can say about the Internet is: "There are a lot of not-so-great things on the Web. The good news is that you're the kind of kid who can make smart choices about what he looks at and what he doesn't." Research shows children tend to live up to such positive expectations.
Tip #4: Set a reasonable time limit for daily use. There is no reason why most kids, most of the time, should spend more than one hour per day online.
Tip #5: Expect your child to pay for excessive or inappropriate use of the computer. When your child exceeds the time limit you've set, or views inappropriate material, he or she should be expected to pay for that time. Kids can pay with extra chores, money they've saved, or possessions.
- This Parent eTIP was inspired by Jim Fay at loveandlogic.com
Summer Reading for All Ages - June 13, 2011
Lists of great books are as prolific as great books themselves. We hope these lists get you started on a summer filled with imagination and fun for all the readers in your family.
- Summer Reading Lists for All Ages - from www.readingrockets.org Barnes & Noble Summer Reading - Imagination's Destination Books for Boys Who Don't Love to Read Notable Books for Children from the Association for Library Service for Children Ultimate Teen Reading List
- And don't forget the wealth of resources found at your local library.
Dog Safety - June 6, 2011
As the weather improves, there are more opportunities for interactions between your children and the canine residents of your neighborhood. Teach your children how to be safe around dogs, especially those they don't know well.
- Teach your child to read your pet’s body language and identify signs that your pet wants to be left alone. You can learn more about your dog’s body language in this Canine Body Postures article from the ASPCA.Teach your child how to protect himself from an overexcited pet by demonstrating the basics of dog bite prevention, such as rolling into a ball, protecting hands and face and calling for help, rather than running or screaming if he’s chased by a dog. For dog owners, teach your dog to respond to the word “Stop” and encourage your child to practice using that word when appropriate.
- Don’t let your child’s friends bring their pets into your home without adult supervision.
Resilience - May 30, 2011
Resilience is a concept that parents need to understand for themselves and for their kids. It is the ability to manage life's disappointments, stress, and crises in positive ways. For some kids, resilience comes naturally. They seem to get straight back up after a setback or disappointment. Rejection in the playground doesn't faze them. But not every child, or every adult, has such natural resilience. Research shows that resilience can be nurtured and developed, particularly when parents are resilient and they actively foster it in their kids.Resilient kids share four basic skill sets - independence, problem-solving, optimism, and social connection. Parents can coach kids through the challenging moments they face and review what they may have learned for next time. Consider the following ideas and how they can teach your kids how to solve problems and become resilient adults:
1. Having a positive attitude yourself. Your attitude as a parent impacts on their ability to bounce back from some of the difficulties they face. Modelling a ‘you can do it’ attitude when he or she meets some of life’s curve balls teaches them how to respond in the future. Look for teachable moments. Make the most of the challenges your kids face by turning them into learning opportunities. Make kids active participants in the family. Active participation in a family develops self-help, problem-solving and independence skills essential for resilience.
2. Build kids coping skills. There are plenty of strategies you can pass on to kids to help them cope when life doesn’t go their way, including acceptance and removing oneself from a stressful situation.
Promoting resilience in kids is a continuous process that requires adults to be supportive and empathetic when things don’t go their way. Resilience is a protective factor that helps children and adults learn to manage challenges and stresses in ways that promotes personal health and positive relationships. To teach your child to be resilient, you must also foster resilience in yourself, including having faith in yourself and your child's ability to cope.
When to Call the Doctor - May 23, 2011
Routine care
You should always feel free to call your pediatrician, even for routine things like medicines, minor illnesses, injuries, behavior, or even parenting advice. All your questions may not be able to be answered by phone, but your pediatrician should be a resource you trust and turn to with questions. The American Academy of Pediatricians has developed the following Symptom Checker as a resource to help you.Urgent care
Sometimes it's hard to tell how sick your child is. Urgent care or a trip to the hospital is usually not needed for a simple cold or cough, mild diarrhea, constipation, temper tantrums, or sleep problems. But if your child has any of the following, call to find out if he needs to be seen:- Vomiting and diarrhea that last for more than a few hours in a child of any age Rash, especially if there is also a fever Any cough or cold that does not get better in several days, or a cold that gets worse and is accompanied by a fever Cuts that might need stitches Limping or is not able to move an arm or leg Ear pain with fever, is unable to sleep or drink, is vomiting, has diarrhea, or is acting ill Drainage from an ear Severe sore throat or problems swallowing Sharp or persistent pains in the abdomen or stomach Pain that gets worse or does not go away after several hours A rectal temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher in a baby younger than 2 months Fever and repeated vomiting at the same time Blood in the urine Bloody diarrhea or diarrhea that will not go away
- Not drinking for more than 12 hours
Emergency care
Call 911 (or your emergency number) for any severely ill or injured child or if your infant or child has any of the following:
- Bleeding that does not stop with direct pressure over the wound Suspected poisoning (Call the Poison Help line at 1-800-222-1222.) Seizures (rhythmic jerking and loss of consciousness) Trouble breathing Skin or lips that look blue, purple, or gray Neck stiffness or rash with fever Head injury with loss of consciousness, confusion, vomiting, or poor skin color Sudden lack of energy or is not able to move Unconsciousness or lack of response Acting strangely or becoming more withdrawn and less alert
- A cut or burn that is large, deep, or involves the head, chest, abdomen, hands, groin, or face
Tips Before And During A Call To The Doctor
Have a pen and paper ready before you call the doctor to write down instructions and questions. It's easy to forget things, especially if you are worried about your child. During the call make sure your child is near the phone, if possible, in case you need to answer any questions. Here's a quick guide to help you gather useful information for the doctor before you call:- Fever: If you think your child has a fever, take your child's temperature before you call. If your child does have a fever, write down the temperature and time you took it. Medical problems: Remind the doctor about past medical problems (such as asthma, seizures, or other conditions). He or she cares for many children each day and may not remember your child's health history. Medicines: Be sure to mention if your child is taking any medicines, including prescription or nonprescription drugs, inhalers, supplements, vitamins, herbal products, or home remedies. Immunizations: Keep immunization records at hand. These are especially helpful if your child has an injury that may require a tetanus shot or if pertussis (whooping cough) is in your community.
- Pharmacy: Have the phone number of your pharmacy ready.
If the doctor needs to return your call, make sure you are available for a callback.
- For more information like this, visit the American Academy of Pediatrician's new website: www.healthychildren.org.
Setting Family Rules - May 16, 2011
"That's not FAIR!" Rules - making them, breaking them, and enforcing them - can be one of the most common points of conflict within any family raising children. For families to function harmoniously, they need rules and limits that let everyone know what's expected of them and keep them safe. We hope you find the following ideas helpful as you create and set rules that your entire family can live with and follow.
1. Rules about safety are needed to keep everyone free from harm.
- "No playing in the street." "No playing with matches."
- "No biting your sister."
2. Rules about bedtime and mealtime are important. Kids need a regular routine and adequate sleep. Parents need time alone in the evening. When mealtimes are regular and pleasant, everyone feels better. Giving children some choices about these times so that they have a measure of control over their lives creates an environment where everyone knows the rules, follows them, and gets their needs met.
3. Rules about respect and appreciation are important and fair.
- "If you're going to be more than 15 minutes late, call."
- "Before you can spend the money Grandma gave you, you need to write her a thank you note."
REMEMBER: Every family is different. No one set of rules will work for everyone. The goal of setting limits when kids are young is to teach them self-discipline when they are older. As kids grow, their ability to understand and follow rules teaches them self control and how to take responsibility for their lives. Too many rules can lead to unnecessary conflicts between parents and children. You may need to think about what things are important enough to have rules about. Examples of things that parents may want to "let go of" include what kids wear, whether to eat meat or veggies first, how to style your hair. Kids are more likely to follow rules if they help create the family rules. Discuss rules with your children. Let them share in the decision-making about things like bedtime, menus, television time, and chores. Allowing them to help decide what happens when rules are broken will help everyone feel better about having and maintaining consistency about family rules.Hug and praise them for following the rules. Having a harmonious family life requires a commitment from everyone. Have fun with your kids as you set rules, and as you do you'll be setting them up for success in life.
- Thanks to Circle of Parents for inspiring this Parent eTIP.
Discipline -May 9, 2011
How do you keep a 1-year-old from heading toward the DVD player? What should you do when your preschooler throws a fit? How can you get a teenager to respect your authority? Whatever the age of your child, it's important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If parents don't stick to the rules and consequences they set up, their kids aren't likely to either. Here are some ideas about how to vary your approach to discipline to best fit your family, from KidsHealth.
How to Be a Good Fan At Your Child's Games - May 2, 2011
As your child learns physical, social and mental skills while playing sports or participating in other competitive activities - like chess club or spelling bees - consider how you can model positive reactions by practicing sportsmanship, respect, and remaining positive.
Here are 2 quick points to remember as you teach your child to be a good team player and good sport.
- To make sure both teams (or players) follow the rules
- To keep order
- Keep quiet when there’s a questionable rulingLearn the rules of your child’s sport
- Thank officials after games
When you model these behaviors, you help your child understand how to become a good team player and good sport, and ultimately teach them how to work with others and respect to authority figures, lessons that will teach them how to succeed with classmates, teachers and later colleagues and employers.
- Thanks to Parenting.org for inspiring this Parent eTIP.
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Picky Eaters - April 25, 2011
Do you have a picky eater at home? Does it seem that the harder you try to make him/her eat, the less likely he/she is to actually chew anything and swallow it? It's easy for adults to get sucked into an unwinnable power struggle when it comes to food. Try as we might, there is really no (legal) way to MAKE a kid eat. Rather than trying to control the things we can't - have you tried focusing on the factors you can control? Here are some ideas for ways to take calm control over what seems like an unwinnable battle:
- Consider what foods we serve How much we serveWhen we serve itHow long we allow it to sit on the tableHow much we involve kids in the process (Can they help prepare one meal each week?)What snacks we make availableHow much we charge for snacks if they are sneaked in between mealsRemaining calm and empathetic when our children refuse to eat
- Allowing their hungry tummies to do the teaching when they go on hunger strikes
Rather than lecturing about starving children in remote parts of the world, experiment with saying, "Dinner is served until the timer goes 'ding.'" Then allow your child to decide how much they need to eat. Since everyone is a bit different when it comes to this, the only way they can learn what's right for them is by experimenting with eating too little or too much and experiencing the natural and logical consequences.
- This Parent eTip was inspired by the teachings of Dr. Charles
Fay and the Love and Logic curriculum, which Children's Trust Foundation supports in Family Support Centers across Washington State. If you would like to learn more from Dr. Fay, he will be in Shoreline on Tuesday, April 26th. Register here or call 800-338-4065 for additional information.
Coping with Food Allergies - April 18, 2011
When your child has food allergies, meals, snacks, and keeping up with the latest information can be exhausting and stressful. Delia Lloyd shares 5 tips for parents.