Heidi and JOe's Story
Like many couples with young children, Heidi and Joe both hold jobs outside the home, juggle hectic schedules, and periodically get on one another’s nerves.
Unlike many couples, they took a hard look at how they were handling conflict as a couple, its affect on their daughter, and did something about it.
Joe worked a late shift. After work, he enjoyed relaxing in front of the T.V., often until the early hours of the morning, because he found it difficult to wind down after work.
Heidi rose early to care for their toddler, Mia, before going to work—so she went to bed earlier than Joe each night.
Mia just loved sleeping in her parents’ bed, which was fine with Joe because his schedule kept him from spending time with her during the day. But Mia’s presence in their bed disturbed Heidi’s much needed sleep.
The issue became a cause of increasing conflict in their home. Heidi described her reactions as becoming increasingly defensive and angry.
Heidi and Joe love their daughter and became concerned about this conflict because they each grew up in homes where their parents openly argued, sometimes frightening them as children. They wanted to learn better ways to communicate with one another so that they could become the parents they always imagined being.
They got the support they were looking for at a SPARK* class that taught them how to better support one another and avoid unnecessary conflict. And it worked.
After taking the class, Heidi and Joe used the active listening and negotiation skills they learned and reached a compromise that they both found satisfying.
They agreed that Heidi would stay up and keep Joe company while they both watched television in return for Joe’s retiring to bed at a reasonable hour. And Mia began to sleep in her own bed during the week, enjoying sleeping with her parents on the weekends when everyone had more time to rest.
“Joe gave me more than I asked for,” says Heidi, “I feel like Joe and I are good role models to Mia now. It’s all about loving communication.”
*SPARK (Strong Partners and Relationships for Kids) is an education program offered at Angle Lake Family Support Center.
